Most Common Arguments Between Married Couples

Most Common Arguments Between Married Couples

By Lisa RisnerNovember 2, 2021

Arguments are normal even between the most loving couples. However, when arguments become one of the main features of your relationship, that may be cause for concern and could lead to an even more concerning situation, separation. To make it easier and more stress-free, you’ll need a divorce mediation service.

Furthermore, even after you have decided to get a separation, you may find yourself having the same arguments with your spouse. An experienced divorce mediator can help you resolve some of these arguments for the purposes of a divorce settlement agreement. 

What is the Most Common Conflict in a Marriage?


Arguments about money are extremely common. There are endless ways to argue about money, whether it’s because you are working with limited resources or because you have different ideas about how to spend and allocate it.

Since money is so essential to everyday life, it’s often an emotional topic for couples. There are also many practical concerns that arise when couples don’t agree on their top financial priorities.

In some cases, couples may even argue about who makes more money, or who gets more of a say in the financial planning. Handling money is an important task.

This argument can continue into divorce when it’s time to divide your assets and property. You’ll need to find ways to make sure both you and your former spouse can afford to meet a certain standard of living. 

Decisions that Affect the Children

Your children are hugely important to your relationship, and you and your spouse should be united in wanting the best for them. However, each person may have different ideas on the best way to raise children.

Couples often disagree about how to raise their children or make important decisions about their education and healthcare. From choosing the right school to deciding on what religious beliefs you will teach your child—there are many opportunities for disagreement.

The task of raising children involves making endless decisions, many of which are deeply personal, and that can cause conflict between couples.

After a divorce, these arguments can become even more urgent. The struggle for child custody, visitation weeks, and even holiday arrangements can cause lots of disagreement.

Chores and Housework

In a busy household, chores and housework can quickly become a point of contention. It’s very common for one spouse to feel like they are taking care of all the household duties.

When both spouses work and have days full of responsibilities, an unequal approach to housework can become the source of many arguments. It may not pay the bills, but keeping a clean house is essential for keeping a functioning household.

Even if both spouses contribute to the chores, they may have different ideas about what constitutes a clean house. If you have different standards of cleanliness, one spouse may be looking at a clean house while the other sees a list of incomplete chores!

Intimacy and Affection

The start of a relationship is often called the honeymoon period, and it’s when couples tend to show the most affection because of their excitement at a new connection.

As you settle into a routine, the two of you may find you have different expectations regarding how you express affection. That can cause fights about a lack of intimacy or affection, especially if you have busy schedules.

You may also have different approaches to quality time. Some people enjoy spending quiet quality time together, while others prefer to do activities together. 

Communication Styles

People have all kinds of different communication styles. There’s natural variation in how people tend to communicate, and it can have serious effects on their relationships.

In a marriage, both spouses will bring unique quirks to the table in terms of how they communicate. Couples can end up frequently misunderstanding each other, which can cause them to get sidetracked during discussions about other issues.

Research suggests that struggles with communication are one of the most common reasons for arguments between couples, and a failure to communicate can lead to divorce.


Feelings of insecurity and a lack of trust can manifest as jealousy, which is the root of many arguments.

Couples can argue because of feelings of jealousy, or they might argue about the existence of it in their relationship. Jealous behavior can be troubling and cause problems in the long run.

If one member of a couple constantly accuses the other of cheating or flirting with other people, it can put a strain on the relationship. It shows a lack of trust in your partner. If the concerns are justified, it often signals bigger problems in the relationship.

Jealousy also takes different forms besides the fear of infidelity. One spouse can be jealous of another’s success or salary, for example. 

How to Spend Free Time

When both of you work and lead busy lives, leisure time can be in short supply. This is doubly true if you have kids together and need to find babysitters before you can go out or indulge in your hobbies.

With so little free time to enjoy together, couples can end up arguing about how to spend it. Not all couples share the same hobbies, so fights over how to spend time together are quite common.

One spouse may enjoy quiet nights in, while the other may be seeking more lively events like concerts or hikes. Solving this issue may require compromise to ensure that both parties can find the time to do enjoyable activities.

Some of these arguments come down to personal preferences and can be solved with a conversation. Others may be caused by major incompatibilities or a dysfunctional relationship.

During divorce mediation, old arguments can rear their ugly heads. We can guarantee that our divorce mediation service, Orange County couples can turn to—is focused on conflict resolution and work hard to help you communicate effectively with your spouse.

If you’re willing to try mediation for a faster, more affordable divorce, consider Divorce Mediation of California. We are with you every step of the way, and our team can file all the paperwork on your behalf.

We provide divorce mediation in Newport Beach and surrounding cities. Set up a free consultation today to decide if mediation is right for you. Contact us at Divorce Mediation of California today!

369 San Miguel Dr #100, Newport Beach, 
CA 92660, USA
© 2024 Divorce Mediation of California, LLC. All Rights Reserved.
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